no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Use "feeling words"
Yay
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
