I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
