bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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