Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
we're making bets on your personal life
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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