Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
