Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
