she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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