Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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