how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
