help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
