There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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