she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
