Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
