got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
don't judge my taste in strippers
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
