you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
