I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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