That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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