I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
