remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
