So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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