A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
