My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Can't talk, ducks in the car
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
