He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
You are a genius and a whore.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
