Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
