I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
