So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
