just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
