Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize