at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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