do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
