it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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