if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
