problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
