This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
