and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Randomize
