Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
