okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
