omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
