Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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