are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
