after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
