I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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