Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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