so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
