WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
