first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
