Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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