Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
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