Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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