Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
