so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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