consequently i now know what mace tastes like
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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