ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
So many bounce houses so little time
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
