Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
